Scene: It’s a quiet morning in a sleepy Townsville suburb. The birds are chirping. What a lovely morning to kick back and relax
“Darl, the lawn needs mowing.”
(Five words you DON’T want to hear)
“Not Now!!!”
“But it’s really long.”
“Not NOW!!!”
“Aren’t you embarrassed? The neighbours have all done theirs.”
“Good for them.”
“Pleeeaaaassse!”
“NOT NOW!!!”
“If you do it now, it’ll be cooler. Besides, if you do it now…we’ll have time for….. other things later.” *Wink*
Now that’s something you DO want to hear.
She’s got me now. I’m cornered.
I go to the shed and drag out the old rotary mower.
I start it up…Vroom!
Love that roar. Hate this job.
I put the blades down as far as they go.
Ha! Take that, lawn!
I figure if I cut it really short, then I won’t have to cut it again for ages…
Smart thinking, right?!
“Wrong!”
Huh? Where did HE come from? And how did he read my mind?
It’s Bill, The Lawn Guru.
“What do you mean…wrong?” I ask, annoyed
“If you mow it that low, you’ll scalp it”
Yep, that’s the idea, genius.
“If you mow the lawn too low, particularly here in Townsville, you’ll burn it.
You’ll also give the weeds room to grow.”
Hmmph!
“And why are you mowing NOW? There’s still dew on the grass. Wet grass will stick to the blades and make your mowing really uneven.”
I tried to tell her, didn’t I?!
“You really should have a mulching mower… it’s better for your lawn and it’ll save you all those trips emptying the catcher.”
I like the sound of that.
“Of course, if you want a really good finish, you could use a cylinder/drum mower. They’re great for couch lawns, like yours. But…”
But what?
“You need to mow twice as often with one of those. But it’s worth it, that’s what the professionals use, you know.”
Twice a week. Stuff that.
Well those edges won’t need doing for a while, at least. I doused ‘em with weed killer last weekend.
Huh? He’s doing that freaky mind reading thing again.
Now he’s frowning at my edges.
“Well, they would look much nicer if you used a mechanical garden edger instead of chemicals.”
Sounds like the missus
“You could have a square or a round edge. And you wouldn’t have such wide furrows either. That’s better for erosion problems. But…”
But WHAT?
“For best results, you really should do the edging every time you mow.”
“Sure thing, O Great Lawn Guru” I say, sarcastically.
I know he’s right, but I’m stuffed if I’ll admit it.
Although…it would be fun to make the neighbours jealous…
All right Bill….Maybe I’ll try it your way.
Vroom!!!
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