Fertilise your lawn
First it wasā¦Ā āDarl, can you water the lawn?āĀ Then it wasā¦Ā āDarl, the lawn needs mowing!ā
But this weekend belongs to ME.Ā JUST ME. Well me, the beer and the football.Ā (Iām good at sharing). Iāve fired up the big screen and the North Queensland Cowboys are playing the Broncos.Ā Ahhā¦the serenity.
āBillās lawn looks sooo much nicer than ours.“
āOh Fair Dinkum!ā
“How come his lawn is all lush and green?Ā Ours is just fine, weedy and pale.ā
āDunnoā I shrug, turning up the volume.
āI donāt know why you canāt get our lawn to look like that.Ā Itās not rocket science!ā
She grabs the remote.Ā Now thatās like waving a red flag at a bull.Ā Grrrā¦
āHowdy, fine neighbour.ā
If it isnāt Townsvilleās Lawn Guru himself, King of the Turf and all that.Ā Heās cheerily poking his head over my fence.Ā And did I see him wink at Melissa?Ā (Whereās a water pistol when you need one?)
āWell actuallyā, he continues, āthere is a bit of science to a beautiful lawn like mine.ā
‘Beautiful lawn like yoursā¦. you anal retentiveā¦’Ā I mutter, under my breath.Ā He continues unabatedā¦
āYou know how a good relationship needs good chemistryā¦ā
Again, was that a wink?Ā Why I oughta.
āā¦and so does your lawn.Ā A good lawn needs nutrients to grow well.ā
“But Iāve been watering it all the time, shouldnāt that be enough?”
āActuallyā, he says, āyou will need to water LESS if you fertilise regularly.ā
LESS WORKā¦now heās got my attention.
āYesā, he continues. āFertiliser will promote new leaf and root growth.Ā
And better ground coverage means less evaporation from exposed soil.ā
āand our lawn will be greener?ā
āThatās right, more green for less water.Ā
And while the grass is growing itās converting more Co2 to 02.
Thatās cleaner air for you and the family.ā
āBill has the nicest lawn in Townsville.ā Melissa smiles sweetly at Bill. Grrā¦
āAnd green healthy lawns are really calmingā¦ā
Iāll give you calm.
āWe got our house valued the other day,ācontinues Bill.
Woohoo, maybe heās movingā¦
āThe agent said our ābeautiful green lawnā really enhanced the value of our property.ā
āIāve got the number of a good removalistā I say, helpfully.
āBut youāre so helpful Bill, you canāt move!ā cries Melissa
Shut up Melissa
āNah, I was just curiousā says Bill
āBesides I couldnāt abandon the best neighbours in Townsville when they need me.ā
$#@!